I’m at a time of my life where I am SERIOUSLY struggling…. seriously! It’s not life threatning but it is life changing… and scary at that. It’s like two different people on my shoulder bickering on what abouts I should do. Only problem is that I don’t know which side is good or which side is bad?
In high school I had a plan. A good one in that fact. I planed to graduate high school, graduate university, have an amazing job and an even better family. It seems like a good plan right? It also seems like a terribly boring one! But thats the SMART thing to do.
There was a slight avalanche that completely totalled that plan right from the get go. Sure I graduated high school but thats just about as far as I got in Plan A. I learnt from someone there was a much bigger place then what I was living in, the whole world! So I thought, “Ok, Well I better get started now!”
After I started, I couldn’t stop. It’s like an addiction you can’t get rid of. The need to explore, to witness amazement and to be in the presence of a whole new kind of love. It takes over your whole heart, it embodies your mind to think yes, I could happily do this forever, no plan, just…. love.
Now I don’t want to sound like a total hippe but to travel and learn and love in a beautiful world sounds like heaven on earth.
Problem Solved ? Nope
I’ve been home for about 10 months now after 2 and a half years of traveling. I figured I could just jump right into the middle of my wonderful plan A. So I got a job, applied to university, GOT ACCEPTED Yep, life was good! However, as I get closer to school, my heart aches, it actually hurts! Is this right? Is this REALLY what you want? You dont LOVE this, you LOVE to be free, and wander, to get lost and then found in a new place once unimaginable.
So What is the right thing? Either could be classified as “right”, but what is the right thing for ME?
I better figure out soon……